Changing job or losing a job, moving abroad or moving house, suffering an accident or an illness and even the happy event of becoming a mother or a father are hard to carry on your own. During such times, couples and families test their connection by asking "security questions": Are you there for me? Can I count on you? Can I trust you? If the answer is delayed or perceived as negative, people sometimes try indirect strategies to reconnect and engage in conflictual dialogues.
Conflictual dialogues create distance and undermine trust. My first concern in any mediation, wherever with couples or extended families, is to help participants recognize and work together against conflictual dialogues. In mediation, strong emotions often cover fears, needs, desires, wants and goals. I support each participant to express these needs and fears directly in order to get out of the conflict mode and to engage together in the decision making process.